I am proud to announce a new, specialty product category. After months of preparation, fast tracked due to the recent viral pandemic, I am excited to now offer high concept, professionally directed sessions designed to celebrate your new best day of your life: your divorce.
Let my photography give your ex the middle finger they deserve.
With the option for both studio and on-location sessions, I’m able to offer a package for every broken family at all stages of the break-up. Looking for the perfect last gift for your ex-husband when you meet to finalize the divorce? Why not present to him a beautiful, leather-bound photo album of you and your boyfriend celebrating your 3rd anniversary in Cabo? Swimwear, boudoir, or even just casual portraits of a cougar on the prowl that say, “I’ve been spoiling him with your money.” Just imagine the look on his face when he receives this after he’s already signed over the house to you!
Let my photography imply that the only thing thicker than your penis is your wallet.
For the guy who’s ready to start dating again, before or after the divorce is final, and could use a little help: A custody day shoot with the kids at your local zoo or, something even classier, on the front steps of city hall. Supervised visits? No Problem! I can work around any social worker; you’ll hardly notice them in every shot. Displaying beautifully matted and framed recent photos of you and your kids in your one bedroom apartment will let women know that you’re a great single dad. Best of all, they’ll know you paid for a professional portrait session, quietly signaling to them that you have money; a benefit that overcomes any receding hairline. Partial family albums perfect for the coffee table include downsized, ultra-low resolution digital versions perfect for your Facebook profile. Child support? Alimony? I offer sessions and packages priced to meet any budget!
Maybe you just need a custody day alibi to avoid that “deadbeat dad” or “messed-up mom” reputation. How about a digital album of you and the kids contracting e-coli at Woodland Park Zoo or documenting a memorable day of heavy metals poisoning at Gasworks Park? These albums are perfect for posting to Facebook. As a special gift, I always include 4×6 prints, perfect for submission at any custody hearing.
Call now to book a session. Let me help you destroy their self-esteem, one photo at a time.
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