One of the things I've said I'd never do, in the past, was self portraits. Some of this is pandemic related, but much of it is girlfriend related. She doesn't really care to move into a larger space and therefore torpedoes my every attempt to bring up the subject. Our current condo was supposed to be temporary; we've now been here for 8 years and long since outgrown it. I have no space to work.
Stuck in both a depressive state and a creative rut, with each feeding off each other to create a negative feedback loop. The former isn’t necessarily tied to the latter, although the latter is a symptom of the former. Also affecting the situation is my stress induced psoriasis negatively impacting my desire to go out and attempt to break the cycle, further deepening my depression and lengthening this creative dry spell. My first notion was to sell everything and find a new hobby. It also doesn’t help that my penchant for landscape, nature and astrophotography are heavily impacted by my inability to drive; this reliance on others is a constant source of both anxiety and depression for me.
I suffer from PTSD related depression that often fears its head during points of boredom. As such, I try to keep myself as busy as possible. It doesn't have to be physical activity, but anything that keeps my mind busy. That means winter can be when I'm at my darkest due to the weather, as my mobility is shunted due to physical disability and limited opportunity to do the things I love most. It's rained just about every weekend since December, and the 1 or 2 dry weekends were tarnished with a week's worth of rain or snow. Unless there's a specific need, I'd prefer to not camp in the rain or snow.
After seeing Jay's macro product shots, I decided to do some floral macros, since I have an arrangement of gerber daisies that's survived since Valentine's Day.
I didn't break out any lighting, shooting at ISO 4000-6400 and 1/100s shutter speed with a Sigma 50mm ƒ/1.4 DG Art on the GFX 50S. Figured I'd try and adapt my muscle memory for a focusing ring that rotates opposite of all other brands.
Anyways, I really need to get outdoors. Hopefully the weather this weekend works out.